Switchblade

By Nikki   

You've cut me with your darkness, your switchblade
You've abused me so much that you infected me with shame
Everyday a place on me begins to heal
And every night you'd reopen the seal
I constantly covered my wounds with different gauze
Then I'd run up and down the empty halls
With no one there to protect me from your blade
Your blade is of one color, the color of shade

I will have no part in your wickedness
I will not inherit your trait of vindictiveness
I shall take what I've seen and grow stronger
Starting today, my scars have meaning no longer
I'm growing from these wounds everyday
I left your darkness and found my way

This blade of yours has taught me well
It's cut me deep and showed me hell
Within its darkness I tried showing it light
But then you cut me deeper, cut me for spite
Then this blade was cast into a room
One that was small, and filled with doom
In this dark place it tried to shine
It tried to fool others with its dangerous vine
The vine of darkness that spreads like fire
YOU the of switchblade trying to make me and army knife liar
Your blood runs thick within my veins
And yet, I chose to not be a weapon, not to cause pain

Then you were set free back into life
You said you wanted to be a mother without the knife
I was naive to think that you would change
First chance you had, you went straight for the vein
You've cut me deep so many times that I no longer bleed
So guess what mother, you're no longer your little girls' need
For years I accepted pain and misery
But I'm past it now, can't you see?
Relatives and friends is where I was healed the best
It was the only way my wounds and scars could truly rest
Within each day there comes a time
When you try making your switchblade become mine.

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This Poems Story

Just a way of releasing g the pain of the little girl that was still hiding away inside me. Just being able to release the pain from having a mother who acted as if she could care less about her child/children. And always falling for her lies until I walked away. Its been 9 years since I wrote this poem and she and I are still TRYING to be mother/daughter....