Symptoms


Is it called love?
When her voice effortlessly
penetrates my body and
warms my heart?
Even though what I know of her
is emptier than my response to her question?
When I can stand next to her,
yet she is so unreachable?
If it’s not love, I fear, what is it?
A simple admiration?
Attention?
Lust?
Will she be what drives me insane?
I protect her by not being there at all.
For the fear of going insane haunts me endlessly
“It’s for the best” I say,
“She deserves to be with someone better than me” I say,
but how can I ignore the dreams
of her being in danger when I’m not there?
What mixture of love and fear is being created
to result in this everlasting pain?

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