That’s not love

I say that I love God
But constantly TRYING to go behind His back doing everything I know will hurt Him.
Tears rolling down His checks His heart is hurting.
My child why have you forsaken me?
Mark 12: 30 & 31 Love the Lord thy God with all thy heart with all thy soul with all thy mind with yall thy strength.
Love thy neighbor as thyself.

I said I love the Lord my God
But I'm constantly mentally murdering
emotionally murdering
spiritually murdering
constantly planting the seeds of a physical massacre.
I'm the grim reaper in disguise taking my Fathers children by the masses.

I say that I love God
But my perception of love has been so distorted there is no ounce of beauty that flows through it.
God I'm praying everyday that I see more of your face.
But everyday I seem to get in the way.
In the morning I strive for heaven but the days always last to long. God I need you to pull me through.

But I'm taking my trust out of You and putting it more into me.
Oh God I don't want to be at your left hand that you say flee from me. Because when I was thirsty you did not give me drink and when I hungered you did not feed me. My God I just want to make it in. Your well done, my heart longs to hear....

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