The Agony of the Road
Undoubtedly, my biggest suffering
Is to observe my weakness.
The misery to know I can do â€“
But my body wills the opposite.
Watching myself fall into the core
Of the human race, reminding me
That my humanity lies in my every deed.
The only thing more painful than failure:
Being stuck in a cycle in which
The temptation defeats you every time.
There is nowhere to hide,
Not one way to obtain the strength
Except praying to a God
Who refuses to admit his absence;
For as I carry my cross of worldly abstinence
His voice was rarely heard but His
Holy ears listened to my wails of pain
Every time the pit swallowed me up
Reminding me I am nothing.
Patience becomes an agonizing
Game God says I must play
But at this point I am barely crawling
On my knees which bleed from
The sharp bumps of the trail
He has chosen me to walk through.
My feet ache from desperately
Walking on this narrow road
In which only a few souls are found.
Oh the sorrows my companions must feel.
Is relief to know I am not alone,
Yet, I wonder if I may put my cross down
To help them finish before
my combat continues.
No one falls behind.
We are one
Due to the same oppression
We were all willing to defy.
My beloved please pray for me
Once you have crossed the line.
Only He knows how many crosses
I am meant to carry
When I can barely carry my own.