The Angel of Death Passed Me By

See, the Angel of Death was an ugly old Toad
In a ratty black robe as He walked on the road
Where I drove a big truck full of asphalt that day,
So I hollered at Him, "Get the hell out the way!"

Then He gave me a look that would stop a clock dead,
And it felt like a brick had just struck my poor head.
But I shivered and regained my composure at last,
So I pulled the air horn, and He jumped at the blast.

Well, I laughed and I laughed 'til I thought I would choke;
I mean, who would've thought you could play such a joke
On the Man whose sole task was to make people die
And to leave loyal dogs at their gravesites to cry?

I get mad when I think of the arrogant Creep
Who does nothing but plant victims two fathoms deep.
How the hell does He know when it's our time to leave
And to snatch us away whilst our goldfish all grieve?

But as much as I rattled the grim-looking Goon,
He refused to indulge me by ending too soon
The long life that was left me to do as I like,
So He settled for booming, "HEY BUD, TAKE A HIKE!"

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