The Battle of Emotions


Emotions are hard thing to show.
For me, I get terrified of it.
“What if they think I’m weird?
Weak.
Stupid.
Or Creepy.
Insert any word and it’ll be right.
I want to say I love someone who doesn’t love me back.
Who hardly knows I exist.
Who can only see me as a friend.
And I just want to…
I just want to…
I’m not sure,
I want to cry.
I want to be angry.
I want to convince and negotiate.
But that isn’t how it works.
But it hurts.
Deep inside
The pain continues to rise.
I want to explode, be erased.
End my own existence so that I can stop, but
Maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe she does love me back.
Maybe.
I’m torn up inside,
I’m stuck between not wanting to be rejected.
And wanting it to be the end.
I just want her to say yes.

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