the boy in my chem class

my palms sweat,
the beating of my heart grows louder
as i sit behind him,
the boy in my chem class.
and then everything is right again.
my palms are cool,
my heart steady.
it’s as if he is the medicine i need
to get off the drug that is
i don’t even want to talk to him.
i just wanted to sit here and
breathe in.
breathe out.
inhale his scent til it is engraved in my brain.
til i can lie awake at night, smelling him
as if he is laying right beside me,
right there in the dark.
i would turn to face him,
his arms would engulf me until i felt safe.
words were nice, but i don’t think we would need them.
i think his arms would make me feel like i belonged somewhere, like i was wanted.
and that was enough for me.

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