The Climacteric Audition

Hands sweaty, self doubt heavy,
hearing the chance of redemption,
the chance of being noticed
Hands sweaty, self doubt heavy
hearing the tunes play, and as others slay
Hands sweaty, self doubt heavy
heart play a dreadful, nerve racking beat, stomach turn
while in the process touching the back of my spine
Letting sighs from within the deepest part of my lungs,
as I blow into the instrument with al my might
Yet still hands sweaty, self doubt heavy
The envelope, so sinister, my name inscribed on it,
as if it had eyes that were burning through my soul
Truly I tell you among all these things,
my hands were sweaty and my mind carried the self doubt
which was most definitely heavy
Opening envelope, fingers gripping and tearing fold
These sweaty hands pulling the note inside
Mind struggling with the heaviness of self doubt
"I won't make it, not possible, wasn't enough",
Tension and stress, two things glued together in an
great masterpiece of a disaster, easy to have, hard to
let go. Reading, once sweaty hands, became still.
Once doubt, became light. Being redeemed,
being noticed, being noticed, being accepted,
makes sweaty hands still & heavy doubt light

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