The Cost of You

I do not check on you anymore
Even though I shoot myself every time I put down my phone
I do not look at your social media when I am alone
Even though I break my fingers when they move from the search button
I do not ask about you when I see your friends
Even though I burn your name at the tip of my tongue
I do not look your way when you walk past
Even though I have to gorge my eyes out to keep from watching
I decided to know you is not worth the agony you cause
Because while avoiding you is painful,
Remembering you is torture
Acknowledging you will kill me
And I have realized you are not worth dying for

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