The Defeat of My Circumstances

As he slammed the door in my face i remembered what rejection tasted like ,
It was never sweet when he mistook me for her but it seems i accepted it
And now that i've built up the courage to speak up
there is no mercy in his scream and indefinite power within his fist as he threatens to break my face
Mama tried to warn me to "just be quiet " but my silence had become way to bitter just to sit in my
mouth as if my tongue needed company.
"BE GRATEFUL" are the two words she love to say the most , these days it's just code word for
"I really don't know what to tell you"
my lips began to quiver as i see the expression on your face change after i exclaim "you hurt me"
Growing up i knew life would be hard and my heart would be broken because i'm still easily mistaken for
the split image of me that i never want to be
The mask that i had place upon my face to look happy had gotten way too comfortable sitting their
accepting all of the happy people that greet
I'm exhausted of running from my fear of you so , I faced it
And it became easy for me to speak over your screams because i could no longer let you
control my life just like you controlled the switch that determined my mood for the day
And I heard you say "LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!" my stomach turned as if i had a bad case of the stomach flu,
but i refused to let you win and i just shook my head and thought about how i was gonna show you what you missed out on you in the future , and make you regret that you walked out on me
you have a heart of ash
And the ego of a teenage boy who’s finally talked to the girl he's been stalking all year
And last but not least you are so great at being the father i never asked for .

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