“The Father I Never Had”

My childhood dream was to make the little league team. The thing that almost held me back were the kids that would look at me and laugh, because I was the only one there without the support if their dad. If only you could've been here! To teach me how to throw and how to catch. As I step up to the plate ready to bat. I stare at the audience searching for the father I never had.

Now I grew up with sisters and brothers plus a single mother, who worked two jobs, so I felt my time with her had been robbed. I often had a question to ask but felt too embarrassed. Are you ever jealous of your friends, with a happy marriage!? As much as I am with mine, who has both of their parents! Now the beauty of my mother I cannot describe. Neither with the words that I speak nor the ones with which I write. As she bakes the cake on the special day for her little man. There's always one gift that's too much to ask! And that's to live in the present with the father I never had.

Whenever my mother speaks bad of you I pretend its all lies. I cannot seem to accept the new men in her life. As we argue throughout the night I ask myself why! Do I look out the window expecting you to arrive in my most difficult times. I'm depressed and mad. Ready to fight back at anyone who shoots me a glance. If only you could of been here! To teach me how to punch and how to jab. But the hardest thing to fight back are the memories of the father I never had.

You could of never mailed me a card? I always wondered the type of person that you are. I mean all I wanted was just a single call. My life seems to of had a scar without you involved. I would've appreciated just one visit. You were the only person I wanted to see every birthday, Thanksgiving and Christmas. The fantasies I have of you in my head. After my bedtime stories were read. You'd look for the monsters under my bed. I'm going to be a father soon. If you were here now how would you react to the news. I feel so confused! How can I raise a boy to be a man? You must understand! When I was never taught by the father I never had.

As I hold you in my arms I'll never let you go. Every day I'll watch you grow. Every night I'll make sure, that the monsters under your bed leave you alone. I'll teach you how to throw and how to catch. How to punch and jab. I promise you that I'll never leave. The hardest things to fight back now are the tears when your first word was daddy. As your mother bakes the cake on your special day. I'll give you the greatest gift I never had. Your more than just my little man. You must understand! As I hold you in my arms the world is in my hands and I thank you for giving me the chance to be the father I never had

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