The Fear I Hate

Unusually quiet, no familiar sounds, not a soul around
Just dead silence,
it hangs over me like a white sheet upon the deceased
The fog hangs low, the air is dense, nothing now is making sense
I wondered, what is this dead of night, Darkest hour, lowest light
What is this dead of night,
this dead of night causing my Soul to blight
No hope, no will, just frozen silence
Shivers race up my spineMouth dry, Fear runs high
What Darkness here, what presence doth cause me so much Fear
I cannot say, I won't! This is not meant to be known
I feel it rising once again, I feel the presence in my head
Stop I say, Stop I yell! Is this to be my eternal Hell
My Hell on Earth, my lonesome self, my failed Worth
What now shall become of me If I run, am I really free?
Free from this madness, free from me
No. I won't go. I shall stay deep inside my troubled brain
For if not for my mind, where would I be
It's what keeps me safe from me
The fear I loathe, the fear I hate,
the fear that makes me feel this way
Consumed by feelings dark & cold, lonely, slowly getting old
Fear of people, fear of fate, fear of all the things I hate
Depressed, ashamed, so much pain, So much lost with nothing gained
Will this ever go away...No, it is here to stay.

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