The first six months

When did being numb hurt so much?
Longing for new love is beginning to burn.
That nervous giggle,
and tummy flutters.
But i fear its just a distraction technique.
Born of heart ache,
and anger about how long healing will take.
Impatience
Frustration
An aching need to be held and rubbed.
Less about sex,
and all about connection.
An end to free floating in a sea of disappointment.
On and On and On,
the endless sea of waves and stars.
Where I comb thru what went wrong.
What he did, I did, and we did.
Wrestling with guilt and shame.
Still wearing his ring.
the new one he stole for our 7th anniversary.
Fool what I fool I am being.
But its just such a beautiful vintage ring.