The Greatest Lie

The Greatest Lie
By Alexandra Rios
Even God can make an error
As I knew when I was three.
When I looked into a mirror
And saw a face that wasn’t me.

I played with girls instead of boys.
And wished myself a Disney princess.
Never played with boyish toys.
Secretly I wore a dress.

My persona was a fake disguise,
To obfuscate my inner truth.
I fooled my friends with clever lies,
Too tangled for the smartest sleuth.

Time’s a trans girl’s enemy,
Rising tides of testosterone,
Must be vanquished thoroughly,
With waves of feminine hormones.

I found on my computer screen,
How to become what I’d always been.
Answers pulled from internet streams,
I searched and watched them, again, and again.

The girls on-screen had the faces I craved,
Breasts and bottoms, luminous skin.
Had hot daddies to make them slaves.
To hold them down, and push it in.

Online drugstores for hormones,
Nipples budded, butt expanded
Estrace, Spiro, progesterone,
Breasts enlarged, someday, implanted.

Bikini lines from a tanning bed
Make up, jewelry, bleached blonde hair.
My body’s now controlling my head.
I craved sex, but did I dare?

Sex found me, a group of thugs
Gang banged me, yet I wanted more;
So I stepped up my girly drugs,
And bid my body as a whore.

Men paid my price and took their toll.
They came and left, then came another.
But friends and family never called.
I lost them all, except my mother.

And now, I’m the girl on the screen.
Inspiring others to take my path.
And though it seems I live the dream.
Is it a dream whose end is death?

All living things must someday die.
Better to risk than to fail to choose.
To survive by living the greatest lie,
Means facing the end with nothing to lose.

You know who you are and must become
Own your body, own your face.
For you are the only one,
Seize the moment, take your place.

© Alexandra Rios, 2019

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This Poems Story

This poem, is depicts events occurring in and is derived from my novel "The Greatest Liar, Trans Fiction With a Purpose" which is available on a commercial website named after a large South American river.