The Hamster


Woke up this morning my anus was red and sore
It is probably the result of shoving a hamster up my butt the night before
Now things are going to go bad with my son
I must explain why his pet hamster is up my bum

I wish I could go back in time and speak with Nostradamus
Maybe he would have predicted that I would have a hamster stuck up my anus

I cannot get this hamster out of my ass
It is lodged tight in my sphincter and will not pass
My butt is swelling like a red balloon
I will need to visit the hospital soon

I wish I could go back in time and speak with Nostradamus
Maybe he would have predicted that I would have a hamster stuck up my anus

Called an ambulance at a quarter to three
The attendant asked what was the matter with me
I told them I had a hamster stuck up my bum
I cant shit it out and I am not having fun

I wish I could go back in time and speak with Nostradamus
Maybe he would have predicted that I would have a hamster stuck up my anus

At the hospital they spread my butt cheeks with ease
The doctor then called for the nurse to get a piece of cheese
The cheese was put up my ass despite my anus being sore
The hamster went for the cheese and fell on the floor

I wish I could go back in time and speak with Nostradamus
Maybe he would have predicted that I would have a hamster stuck up my anus

I returned home later that day
Called my son in from his outside play
I said son, here is your pet
He replied “why is my hamster smelly and wet?”

I wish I could go back in time and speak with Nostradamus
Maybe he would have predicted that I would have a hamster stuck up my anus

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