The haunting

Haunted by the choices of my past.
The consequences of my behavior seem difficult to grasp.
Caught up in the grips of my addiction
Suffering from a debilitating disease, a terrible affliction.
I've done things that i would never have done sober
Blessed to be alive and grateful it's over.
I've lost many friends who disappeared outta sight
Whom lost their way and the ability to fight.
I'm constantly reminded by society, labeled an "addict"
No matter how good I do, they focus on the tragic.
Trying my best to change my ways
If only they knew the struggle of my days
Holding onto anger and sadness deep within
I need to release it, but I don't know where to begin?
Forgiving others is easy, but I can't love myself
I'm always putting them first while placing my problems on a shelf.
I can't comprehend why that's what I do?
I'm drowning myself, but I'll try to save you.
Caught up in an emotional turmoil
I'm only striving to be what society calls, "normal"
I never thought I'd be caught up in this sickness
I used to see addicts and judged their life ridiculous!
I've learned that this illness isn't selective
It will attack anyone who is turned onto this elective
It can be very troubling, the constant urges to give in
Its a long living battle, but I choose to win
Living life is difficult sometimes and it seems easier to get high
Emotions overwhelm me and sometimes I cry
However, even though it's difficult, I choose to keep going
To maintain my sobriety and keep continually growing
I'm happy to be on my journey and seeking the right way
Thankful that the past is gone and it's a brand new day.

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