The Life I Live


I don't think they understand
At one point I didn't want to leave bed
Only thoughts of death danced in my head,
It was so dark,
so lonesome
Scared and afraid
Thoughts of suicide ran throughout my brain.
I had lost someone dear,
It was devastating though we knew death was near.
My fingers on his wrist but no pulse was there
I couldn't believe it, thinking god don't you dare.
Nothing got better, It all got worse.
Now thoughts of my grandmother becoming of ghost.
It couldn't happen my grandad was already dead
I couldn't lose my grandma
But the thought wouldn't leave from my head.
Time ticked by and still I was down
All I could give you was a fake smile or a real frown.
I hid all my tears
They couldn't see me cry
But behind my mask
I was dying inside.
But then it started to get better
As god showed the way
My grandma stayed alive
No one else ran dead
And thoughts of suicide faded from my head.

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