The murse

The Murse (man purse)
Losing things was always my curse
I need somewhere for my things to immerse
I know what I'll do I'll get a man purse.
In order to find a suitable man bag
do I need to go shopping to a store that sells drag?
A man with a purse you say? thats a bit much!
Dont trip! its really an european shoulder clutch.
Insides so much but an abscence of loot
and I dont care if it dosent match my boots.
But lately everything in my purse seems to hide
time to dump it out and see whats inside.
let see...a non-working flashlight whose time has come and gone
seven dollars for batteries and I left the darn thing on.
Receipts and coupons and goop for my hair
big mexican coins and I dont even go there.
So many things in my purse I am always bringing
by the time I find my phone it always quit ringing.
No longer will all my change be swallowed by the couch
and I keep no sharp things in my purse because they always find me OUCH!
I will get rid of this stuff but Im sure there will be more
thats why in my kitchen I have overflowing junk drawers.
Old parking tickets and three golf balls
a package of condoms but there always to small (yeah right)
matchbooks with phone numbers but no names
losing scratch-off tickets from some long ago game.
thing-a-ma-jigs, doo-hickeys and a couple of henways
widgets and grommets and old bills to pay
(whats a henway?) hmm..about four pounds.
eyedrops and combs and pills for a cold
a big ring of keys someone(?) asked me to hold.
sunglasses, certs, bolts and some screws
most of these things I'll never use.
A cop saw me one night and yelled "can I search your purse? with a shout"
I said " you are going to do it anyway so knock your self out!"
There was gizmos and gadgets and a watch that dont tell time
but nothing inside that would link me to crime.
He looks in side and nearly throws a fit
throws my purse back at me and says "I dont have time for this $hit!.

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