The Onion King


Behold, behold the Onion king
His soul has a pungent fragrance
Unbidden tears his presence bring
He's the king of heartbreak romance

I caution you not to peel away the layers
of his life of vainglory conquests
An empty stench of not ever lasting,
a treasure trove of zirconian regrets

He loves to rule over the hearts of women
Become their all-there-is and is-to-be
He fancies himself quite the ladies man,
a man who revels in squashing empathy

If you had any personal problems,
he sure didn't want to hear 'em
If you had any big relationship ideas,
he wasn't going out on no marriage limb
The only dreams he was going to make come true
were going to be his own
He wasn't looking to have someone sit next to him
on his ivory-jilted throne

Oh, the Onion king can make you cry,
and, oh boy, make you cry again
Just don't try to grab hold of what's his
Now that really gets under his skin

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