The Pain Comes In

The pain comes ina not-so-welcome friend.
It just opens the door and invites itself to enter,
to dwell inside in the guest room.
It feeds itself and entertains itself at my expense ""
the guest that wasn't asked to come
and won't listen when it's asked to leave.
I wake and dress and work
and act the part of mom and wife and lover and friend,
but all with the pain right there alongside me never leaving,
always infringing upon my relationships.
It's pushy that way.
It insists on dictating the when and where and who
of those who come and go and touch on my life as days fall into days
and still it stays.
And before long it is indeed that friend it pretended to be
in order to infiltrate my life and me.
it is the consummate bully "" and I its enabler
because really what choice do I have but to do as pain says to do.
And the friends they fall away because pain is not friendly to them,
and then resentment enters in "" it is quite the friend to pain.
And any friend of a friend of mine is a friend of mine.

And one day I will learn that if I could just shut the door
I'd be alone.
And alone is better than this.

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