The Pain Inside
There used to be a bright light inside,That anyone nor anything could ever hide.I was a sweet child so mild and meek,Until that hand busted me in my teeth.She cried swore it was an accident,But a day later she's right back at it.As her child all i wanted was her love, Except that her love was like a dove.So easy to flee, so easy to fly,It sucks that at 9 you want to die.They say Tell your Dad he's not so bad,I would but he's busy being a working Man.He sacrificed everything to make ends meet,Scraping scrounging just to keep shoes on my feet.I don't know why I rebelled so bad,I was very hurt, scared, lonely, and sad.I wanted his attention he'd always been there,But one day like my mom,He woke up and just didn't care.Away with you now I've had enoughYou are no longer worthy of receiving my love.My first love he was no different,After 6 years of abuse and rage,
One day he just decided to break my rib cage,
The pain was unbearable i couldn't breathe or see.I was so scared and felt alone,So i got tweeked and stoned.Everyone tells me its just an excuse,Please for one day come live in my view,Then Tell me exactly what you would do.With every blow my fight gets weaker,I get up and knocked down it keeps getting bleaker.I know exactly what to do and how to think,But my sanity and my logical thought are on the brink.Just beat me down, Please get it over with,This emotional pain I just can't take another hit.I go to sleep seeing all your faces,you haunt my dreams I wake in crazes.A young girl still innocent and pure,Should never have to go through what I had to endure.Three months away from everyone I love,Taped Down, Beaten, Starved, and Drugged.One day before the monsters left, They gave me my sleep dose but it never took effect.For the first time in months, I could see, I could think.I chewed the tape until I ripped my skin,Blood in my mouth the taste is like tin.I'm free and I'm naked I don't really care.I run through the woods and around a big truck.I see the old house and then i see lights,I run for my life i know I must fight.The Man at the door wrinkled and Gray,Screams to his wife call 911 right away.
Two weeks in the hospital three days in ICU.
I know all their faces every single inch, I still smell their scents and it makes me sick.The hell I endured at the age of 13 wasn't executed randomly,Even though that's what you told the family,You helped look for me high and low,In your mind though you already know.How do you sell a person for drugs,Especially a young girl who is your blood.One hundred and fifty dollars that's all I was worth,Please God will you now take from this earth.But still I stand and i don't know how,The Pain Inside i can't keep down.It rises up till it overflows,Out of my eyes down my cheeks and nose.I feel I have no worth, no reason for life, or no time.Everyone I love eventually leaves or dies. So if you see me crying, upset, and down.Don't judge me and say what happened now.Don't say oh she was once so happy and strong.Just give me a hug, a ear, and be nice,I've been getting kicked since birth so don't you think twice,I'm sure This is how it will be the rest of my miserable life.The pain inside is deep and hollow,At time's it swallows me whole.I'm so used to it that i don't know,How to move on or how to let go.It's the pain inside that controls my mind,And makes me wish i wasn't alive.