The Pain

There is a feeling of dejection, but it is not from any deception.
My own foolish dreams lead me to this phase.
A fire flares from deep inside spreading its fingers to my heart.
Strangling hold, I cannot bear, I felt lost, for don't know how long.
Thoughts race through my mind chasing each other mercilessly.
In the commotion, all I can hear is the thunder ringing in my ears.
All around me I see nothing but vacuum.
Where is the happiness? Where is the hope?
No promises were made, but I thought it was meant.
So who should I blame? You, me, or the universe?
The pain would be easy to bear, but not so much the loss.
The loss of dreams, the loss of what could have been!
A face, a smile, a loving glance, a minute stolen--
All lost forever, don't know why.
The past was hazy, the future not so clear.
Only thing that surely is--is the pain I feel today.
I didn't know the rules of the game, never understood it.
I was in for the win, but rules broke me before I could even play.
Where is the pain coming from?
Is it from the knowledge? Or the ignorance?
Or is it just the heart that is victim here?
Will this pain ever end? Or will it become dull after a while?
No dreams, no hopes--to help survive
To just exist--that is life!