The Power of Unspoken Word

Today, I realized I’m a bad person.
I’m shallow, I’m unkind, I’m broken inside
I try not to tell anyone, I try not to acknowledge my horrible qualities, I try not to care

But today, I just can’t shake it.
I never thought people could see me like that. As a person who only cares about looks or money or about what roast to send back or that I’m selfish and don’t care about anyone else’s needs
I’ve tried so hard to cover up years of hate with a glass shield
But glass breaks so easily.

I wish I could say I’m not shallow, I wish I could say I’m not unkind or that I don’t care about what others see me as, I wish I could change who I was because before this moment, I thought I was only capable of love and and kindness and good In this world.
But I am equally capable of the bad.

Yes, I care about how I look
And yes, I care about success, and I care about my ambitions, my dreams
I want more than what I have
But I also know that there is more to life.
I know that I care about love, faith, belief, and kindness, I care about building someone up and I care about trying to help other, I care about more than looks and money and success
I do.

And I’ve been telling myself that everyday for the past 5 years, that I’m better than I actually am. But, I don’t know anymore.
Maybe I am just that shell of a person who only cares about likes, follows, comments, and reposts. Maybe I am that shallow, unkind, broken person. Maybe I am what everyone says secretly behind my back.
I’m broken, I’m unkind, I’m shallow.
Today, I realized I’m a bad person.
And I also realized that I have convinced myself into thinking that I’m a bad person.

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