The Search for Eden

I’m looking for Eden in the mundane
In the simple
In the small

I used to think you were only in the big, complex moments
Now I know you’re in all of it

You’re in the cosmos on an atomic scale
You created the universe, and yet you know every hair on my head
You designed everything that exists, and still chose this moment

I’ve begun looking for you in everything
You are the breath in our lungs
You are the face of every star that cries out Your brilliance
You are the life in everything that moves
Why would I choose to look anywhere else but your creation?

Eden is in front of me
It always has been
Whether I choose to look is up to me
But I’m choosing to search for it
To find it in the mundane, simple, small moments of life
To find it in the face of a friend
To find it in the flowers outside my window

I also choose to find it in the hurt, pain, and suffering of this life
In the midnight conversations when I’ve never been more angry with You
In the moments of anxiety so bad I can’t get up
In the relapses that remind me I am so painfully human

If I forget the hard in the search for Eden
I forget why I need it in the first place
I forget how your hand is present
I forget why creation is the most beautiful thing I will ever experience

Eden is in the complexity of life
It’s in the beautifully horrific moments on this Earth
In the moments that make me ask why me God
And in the moments that make me wonder how I can go on

Your grace is never more evident than in the hard days
They are simply reminders of what everyday could be like
I could live in the constant hurt
I could exist in the pain of this world

Instead I get to live in the love of Him
I get to live in the Holy moments
I get to live in a life that’s so sweet I can’t even begin to describe it
A life that’s more abundant than anything I could ask for

I have been given a life that exists to show what God has done
A life that is simple and complex
Easy
Painful
Beautiful
Hard
Sweet
And the greatest thing that I get to experience