I screamed at her, "LEAVE ME ALONE"
But she wasn't even there.
I sat down.
You're not supposed to sit down in the shower.
It didn't matter. Everything that mattered
mattered without me.
It was already hot, but I pushed left
I pushed left until the fever in my brain
spread across my skin
and I wanted it to break
and I wanted to break
and I cried and the tears evaporated from
my boiling skin so quick
It was like they never even came.
And it broke and I didn't.
My eyes strained and my skin faded
from pink to less pink.
And I grasped at the vertical nothingness to my right and
somehow my hand stuck.
I was up and I swayed, wondering where he was,
wondering if it was better there.
Not yet. I haven't lived yet.