The Wall Inside Me

No one will ever understand the depth of it all,
It's something like a jagged edged wall.
Edges made from the words that cut so deep,
No one sees how many times I lay in bed and weep!
All the hurt inflicted on my heart and on my soul,
When is it that once again I'll feel whole?!
Damage that can't be undone and pain that can't be unfelt,
No one can ever understand unless they've dealt.
I can tell my story over and over again,
But that won't ever help me mend.
The more I think of what my life's been about,
The more thoughts flow around of fear and doubt!
I wish I had all the answers I needed or the courage to leave,
But really all I have is the faith to believe.
To believe that my life will fall into place when the time is right,
Even when there's barely anything around me that sheds light!
Stuck with this darkness inside of me,
I sink deeper but thankfully it's not something people can see.
This life sometimes makes me feel like it isn't even worth living,
But thankfully God blessed me with the gift of giving.
Giving to others makes me feel good and helps me keep going,
It's the uncertainty of my future that I don't like not knowing.
I thank God all the time for giving me the strength I need,
Because without him beside me I just wouldn't succeed!

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