The War

By ten   

I hope she won’t regret the food she ate
The girl in the mirror that you must hate

But there, Oh no, I think I see a tear
Leaving her in quite a miserable state

What a plan she always had at lunchtime
To find a way to clean her whole big plate

Without eating a single bite of it
It’s not beauty, not a romantic trait

To squeeze and shave your naked little bones
Until your life could end by wind or fate

She, feeling like the mud of all the earth
Must try and succeed to annihilate

The little army warring inside her head
A plea of peace she will negotiate

She’ll fight, and bleed, and cry, and win the war
So this, the war, she’ll never recreate

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Key Words : body, skinny, control, eating disorder

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This Poems Story

I have struggled with eating disorders as a coping mechanism with stress for a few years. I needed something to have control over in the midst of the chaos of my life, in the midst of my father\'s near-death experience with various illnesses, the absence of my family, experiences that come along with being the child of a soldier, sexual abuse, etc. There wasn\'t much I could control, so I took fierce hold of everything that I could. Running, food, and my grades were my anchors. Unfortunately, I ran too far, ate too little, and confused my grades in school as a measure of my value. I am doing much better now, but It took moving away from everything I knew and embracing writing as a healthy coping mechanism to get here. This is a Traditional Ghazel poem.