There Are No Re-dos

I lie awake in sorrow because my mind keeps creeping
back to the things I did
that left her brown eyes weeping
If I could just go back in time I'd say,
"sit down you fool!
You're digging a deeper grave
Trying so hard to be cool
She had a beautiful voice so I was stunned from the jump
A face as smooth as her walk
you couldn't spot a single bump.
She chose to talk to me
I had no idea what to say
so I said "wow you're pretty!"
and then she walked away.
I tried over and over again
to get a chance to be her man
waited time and time again
just to be called her best friend.
I was begging for attention
I even changed my hair do,
wishing she would just ask why?
So I could say, "I did it just for you"
I listened when she chatted
figured she wanted a stronger guy.
So I started mma
and she didn't even bat an eye.
But if I would've just been myself
I probably would have been loved
but noone taught me how to do that before the push came to shove
I tried to insight madness
hoping for just a spark of woe.
But instead I lost myself
and shortly she was next to go.

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Idk what this means lol