there’s not much that doesn’t remind me of you


it will never be fair
that you were the only one with sticky sweet words
something a little less palatable than fruit juice or honeycomb
something more like
antifreeze, cough syrup, anything hard to swallow
you were the one with the outbursts and the overflow
the promises the promises the promises

it will never be fair that
i held back every

“i miss you”

every

“forever”

every

“call me? i want to hear your voice.
i want to memorize it.”

and yet i am the only one left in this space we created
aching like the phantom limb of an amputee
empty in your absence
missing you and missing you and missing you

i catch myself as i reach out a hand in your direction

like breath used to catch in my throat when you threw around pebble heavy words like confetti
leaving the smallest bruises without the intention of staying long enough to watch them fade

that reach will only turn into a touch and there is no touch that comes without feeling
i might exist as a stranger within myself more often than not but even i know that is far too out of character for this script we've written ourselves into

nothing unravels this thread
nothing rips these stitches
but oh, you came so close
almost almost almost

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