They Tell Me

Just be happy,
They tell me.
A command impossible for me to execute.
I break out a smile, convincing them that I am okay.
Each sunrise keeps me dreaming of the next sunset.
Sadness lingers in my body like ash from a cigarette
Saturating my mind with negativity and filling my lungs with grief.
You have nothing to be dispirited about,
They tell me.
You are fortunate and have everything anyone could ever want,
They tell me.
I nod, pretending to lift the burden weighing me down.
How do I tell them that each day is a struggle?
I merely look forward to the hours passing by,
To slipping into my bed and escaping my misery,
The only time my uneasiness can flee from my desolation.
Some day I will be able to stop the lies.
Some day I will live the life I had imagined.
Some day I will be filled with bliss.
As for now, I listen to what they tell me.
Hoping some day a sunset will keep me dreaming of the next sunrise.

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