This is the End

Giggles and gossip fill the air,
heart pumps fast as I talk
and eat my lunch.

How quickly one moment can
How quickly your friends will leave.

The destruction and devastation filled my head,
leaving me alone with my thoughts.
How could I let this happen?
I messed up so bad.

Normal days I took for granted,
normal days I should’ve stayed quiet.
Instead, spoke up and dealt
with the consequence.

But how could I stand there
as the ones I spent a lifetime with
just left.
Leaving me alone and confused.
Leaving me to ask myself how
did I not see this coming.

My days I spent thinking,
I spent them wondering.
Replaying the scenario
in my head.

I never thought it could be me.
I never thought our time would end.

Now in the halls,
now on the bus,
now in my classes,
and now everywhere I see
my bad thoughts go away
as I go up to talk to them.
To the ones who make me feel worse
every day.

But I can’t.
I can’t speak to them.
But I try anyways.
Silence and sarcasm enter my ears
as the people I loved most
became ones I have to grow to dislike.
The ones who will never want to talk
to me.
For if I can’t amend this relationship,
I have to stop caring.

My body tells me to stop
as if they are my enemies.
But I still think and still reflect
on how much I was hurt.
And sitting there all alone in my room,
sadness like a dog with no toys.
Sitting there as my furrowed brows and frown form
with my thoughts.
Sitting there with my whole world falling and breaking.
Sitting there wondering why.

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