Thoughts of lemons

‘The sky is falling!’
My mind shouts
As kamikazes foretell of
Anxieties that bomb me straight into hell

I can’t confront them myself
So, Ladies and Gentlemen place your bets
‘Cause here we go again
In a rat-race to place as a
Famous face in the race for our
Future as we’re competing yet again

I used to see success secretly sewn inside the skin
Of my wrists I used to see blood ink crossing
Out those pretend words, but that was pretence
Everything back then was so tense
As if the tension tethered my
Condensing mind to a mine
So if I made a single move on the dime
While blind
I’d be blown back into confusion all over again

Meanwhile, I can’t think of a better place
To hold my future hopes up high
So plummeting from never reaching cloud
Nine I grab my shovel so I may
Bury my dreams six feet deep
Beside my semi-hidden pride.

And all these tests, attention and stress
The thieves of my breath
sometimes seems
That purposely my lungs feel
Like as if they are ok with death like

Sometimes somethings to me just needs more attention
Like that time when a rose grew from the concrete
And started a revolution
Or the other time
When shooters almost brought
death inside of my schools again

But still society can only grasp
What I see as foundation,
Holding a slipknot tight around everything
But letting every little detail just slip through.
Saying that they know everything
But the gravity to reality is
That they haven’t gotten a single clue.

So let’s just face it
Why the world has never
been able to see a better scene or day
But Instead has only changed into
Every worse way possible
Because we've made
Earth that way

And I’ve gotta say that
I wouldn’t be surprised to see
Casual nukes dropped out of airplanes today
Just to see that below everyone else has seen the same
And decided to finally rebuke against
Their sinner ways and have dropped down to their
Knees and began to pray

And right now my mind is so fragile
That if it breaks my demons will let loose
Earthquakes of paranoia of
becoming another copy and paste
Of society's ways...Of becoming no one.

I don't want to see myself wither away
Into nothing like as if
Legions of seconds are ruthlessly attacking
My skin and bone frame in a one sided battle that is just
Too slow for me to participate in
Or even see

But even though my plans
crash into my trade towers
And I fight my bed
Every morning to get up and
face the world again
Optimism still forces my eyes to
look up at the skys
And observe the flowers and only then

I would be able to reach
Beyond the rainbow seas
Of happiness and chlorine

And It's all connected
These nests of lies and strings of truth
It's so hard to untangle myself from this mess
While I'm being fed more spoonfuls of this poisonous web
As the spiders tell me

Of a story about a fucked up kid
Trapped inside his own demented head
Being an outcast standing in the same shoes of mine
Trying to outlast the overgrowth of the gilded grass
That political tension has sprouted
Broken borders between the burning flags of America
With reality on one side of the shine
And mortal morality on the other side for the
Lions to dine on.

Like when I look at a fun house mirror
Only thoughts of me are what is reflected back
Through the groves of disorientation
That accelerates us in finding the explanation
But also disintegrates the retrospective celebration
Of why I am here and why
I am who I am today.

But today I can only imagine
Just the texture of my dreams
And woefully the reality to gravity
Is that it is us
who is always falling down

From a never ending deficit
Of losing focus
on the task at hand
And sadly it's true to say
That this world only runs
On so much supply and demand
These days

That now, enough is never enough
'Cause now virtue is thrown out the
Window into a black hole
Of sinking sand

And it's tough to know
That no one ever thanks me
Anymore for holding the door
For them before I even let myself in
Through my only store
Of holy knowledge.

It's where I go to see the living American future
Just busying themselves hiding between
their earbuds and screens
But I'm still hopeful to see that
this is where everyone else
Is to be educated in dedication and loyalty
Because to me life's ease has
Never been adopted into
My family crest. And if we ever had a
crest that did exist, it say to
Work the hardest until death…

So I've always had to think above and beyond so that I am
Able to squeeze every lemon
Into my dreams that you call lemonade
So here, take a sip of my own cup of inspiration
And aspire to be an innovation
Just try to enjoy the environment around you
And even if where you may be is sour,
the silver lining will always be sweet
And if you're alright to fake it until you make it
you'll turn out to be ok for now just like me.

Honestly. Today, right now is already yesterday
So the sooner the change, the better results
Will be seen panoramically in a pure
Shade of clarity that's magnified by
How well you've handled your life in
Each fleeting day and night

Because when you're first in line like how I will be
The first thing that you'll think of
Is your climb across the journey's steep casinos
that manifested you a destiny
Rolled out of how much
Effort that you and I were willing to put into
Our cameos of who we thought
Our elder selves were supposed to be.

Because truthfully, every soul in this world has the power
to change the things that used to be
Nightmares for every dying angel that’s
Damned because they sacrificed their
only wings to shed the remaining
light on the darkness of the
Morbid stings that our shitty society
Brings and by all means, you can't plan to be successful
in making your own lemonade if you don't succeed in moving
on from the lemons that you've already squeezed

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