By Bella   

time was never on our side
in fact a place of memories is where i reside
holding on to the grains of sand as they wash away in my hand
losing the songs my heartstrings sang
forgetting the games my brain would play
at a time like this i crave pain
since it’s the only feeling to ever remain
time never stopped for you and me yet i still sit and dream for a perfect reality
thinking back to the old memories make me grin however the surplus of tears drip down my chin the tears that beg for resolution and recovery
the delusion is strong turning everything you said or did into recollections submitting hints that it would end
pressure in the cavities builds as the demand for the past grows
beats of white noise ring out as irregularly as possible aggravating my only source of sanity
on the brink of collapsing when i reread the letters putting my heart on the line even if it means i get one smile
sobbing my organs out hoping that will relieve the hurt i hold so close to me the hurt that molds me
letting go seems impossible the speculation that i can’t do it is enough to make my body paralyzed
i hold the lies so high in the clouds so that no one can see it around
screens play a message from the future dated the day i really want it over

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This Poems Story

through trial and error i have tried and failed to find a reason why you are gone and why i am no longer am happy to be struck by defeat and despair.