To the boy I wish I had
It tore me apart watching you leave
but this time it hurts more as I am not stopping you,
as this time it’s not just you leaving me,
as this time it’s me leaving us.
It was heart wrenching to see you adore someone else so passionately but it was still so heartwarming to see you happy in love.
Though I am always going to envy the person who makes you more happy than me,
but I hope you know that I would break every piece of mine to keep you above.
The pain is still there and so is the regret,
my hand still reaches out for you yet the tears are dried,
but oh! the scares, I wish I could hide.
I always thought you were a phase,
always thought that somebody eventually would take your place,
days to months to people came and went away,
but the thoughts of you never left my way.
Is it too cliché if I tell you that I still remember how your touch feels,
or how guys perfume assembles each part of mine,
I would still love to stroke your hair once with my tangling fingers,
or touch your face and wrap my hand around you till your odour behind lingers.