Trauma


I didn't realize it then,
that I had lost the best part of myself
when you left.
I was only nine.
You decided to leave and I
watched as you packed your things
and walked away.
The screen door shut and
you were
gone.

Don't you understand what
I could have been,
might have been,
had you stayed?

But that person,
my real person,
my personality,
my heart,
will never be the same.

And then--
I looked for you in every relationship.
I felt comfortable in
loss.
In sorrow.
In losing you I had lost myself.
The best part of myself-
my heart.

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