Trying to Expain My Depression

I have traveled far, I have traveled long
I don't know where to go and I don't know where I went wrong
My life is a living hell I know
But I reap what I sow
I speak loud and I read proud,
But the tears in my eyes are silent and shameful
Depression is where I came from so I will represent it like I made it
I take the pill that the doctor prescribes it doesn't work
I take another one it still doesn't work
This so called depression pill doesn't work no matter what they say
So I just take a handful to make the pain go away
I sit in my room not enjoying the day
Keep the frown on your face, and you better not play
I am sorry I have failed
I am trying to explain my depression in detail
But to who? There is no one to tell
I love being around family but I can never hold the emotions
But why fake around people who know who you are
I may not tell you what's in my head
Or that I'm wishing I was dead
But I just play a game, I think that is enough said
So, don't get mad or sad about what you read it's just how I feel
Still contemplating on if I still want to try
Some say I gave up and that's the reason why
I try to change the way I think, but I have no help
it's not the light of my day, or the warmth that we pray,
It's the thought of my dad killing himself if I was gay

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