Tug of War
Tug of war
There is a tug of war in my head
I am ever conflicted
Decisions to be made
Thoughts to be thought
Words to be said
Between the old familiar voices that have lived with me for so long and the new words of comfort and healing that are brand new
The old voices don’t feel like making room for the newbies, get off my turf they say
Hence the mental civil war between the vets of damaging messages that are keeping me feeling trapped and overwhelmed with gloom and the new words of hope and a chance t be free.
Or do I just need to be realistic? Realistic or pessimistic?
Are my new beliefs delusional? Because they are unusual?
But the usual has not been working for me
And yet what is the truth, what should I do? How should I think?
I don’t even know how to think anymore.
I always hated that game
Tug of war.