Unexplained Emotions

only the dark sky that's lit by dimmed stars and cold breezes understand me
burnt out cigarettes and dried up tears
inked skin to feel a sting without using my own hands
over-worn shirts that no longer smell like him
dirty socks reused and overflowing laundry baskets
empty handles of vodka and vacant pill bottles
bleached hair and split ends
if only I could change my inside as I do the outside
Black nails to match my empty and dead heart
dried up car tanks
gas nowhere to be found but the miles it took me
driving fast to escape what's behind me
hands on the wheel is the only control
chapped and cracked lips from too many cigarettes
ribs peaking through skin
pounds become fewer and fewer on the scale
foundation and blush spilled on the floor to cover what I hate most
no makeup can paint a smile on this drained face
no song can be played loud enough to mute out this nawing pain
Black and tarred lungs can't take this breath away
this body wishes to live, this mind wishes to not
every thought fights every instinct
not even the cold can numb these aches
no light can make this darkness bright
where do I start? where do I end?
only I have the answer

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