Oh, father, please, father
I’d love to leave you alone
But I can’t let you go
Oh, father, please, father
Put the bottle down
For the love of a daughter
-Demi Lovato “For the Love of a Daughter”

“Nanu, Nanu!”
An alienated voice I would say to call home
A place that outside people didn’t know about
A home that people could consider insane
An asylum. That’s where I belong
Why don’t I just…

Oh no… I can see it
Please don’t look at me that way
“Morning, Dad.”
Please say something this time
Oh I know that smile
That face of “everything hurts, but I love you”
I can see that hunger for happiness in your eyes
You aren’t hiding anything
At least not from me

“Did the bed bugs bite ya last night, Z?”
I say as if my ribcage isn’t about to crush
My heart by smiling
I’ll do anything to see my angel smile
Whatever you want me to be, I’ll be
I love you

Tell me what’s happening
I want to know what you’re thinking
In every crease and crevice of your mind
Let me explore your mind like a lost driver
To a road map, even if I don’t understand
I know I’m only 15, but I’m old enough
To see you’re hurt
Your characters might be able to hide
Your pain from them but you’re not fooling anyone here
I just want you to see my smile, not my pain
My beautiful daughter do not count on your father
Count on your brothers
They will give you the true happiness you need
I try my hardest, Z, I swear I do
To brighten that smile with what is true
I’m sorry, my daughter, but there is not much
Satisfaction under all of this laughter

Father, you have to believe me
I see your struggle
It’s been five more years now
And another 3 years of rehab

But Z, I still love you

Dad, I am 20, but you still see me as the innocent
10 year old girl who caught you with that
Needle in your vein
You think I don’t know how brutal the world really is
You still think I don’t know what happening
I know exactly what’s happening
That venom racing through your bloodstream
And that white power rushing to your head
Daddy, you know pills don’t mix with alcohol
Just like ropes don’t mess with flesh
They tear and burn your skin identical to the way
Your fake smile does to my heart
You leave me in a pool of our tears and screaming
As I find you dangling by the strings that held
Your masks to your face

Now they know
How am I supposed to do this?
Dad, I am only 25
How am I supposed to be the Zelda Williams
When I am only the sad offspring of
The parents: depression and addiction
I feel the agony of your heart as it got ripped apart
In the jaws of a lion
I don’t think I have anything left in me, but to
Stitch your masks back together and place them
Against my face
Do you think they’ll buy it, Dad?
Because they sure did with you

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