The day I entered hell was the day
I realized that you were not beside me.
They asked me what I had done ending up there,
who I had hurt and who had hurt me
when I looked over my shoulder searching for lucidity
in an otherwise ornate impasse
I found the space empty for the first time since I met you.
Spewing words of innocence would not be enough,
I hold clarity in that my conscious remains reprehensible
I am sorry that the windows I shut to keep out the dark
slammed on your fingers,
and more so for the deception of stability,
for when I got a taste of life and it wasn’t ever enough,
when I had a chance to breathe again-
that was worth going to hell for.