I put my bright face outside,
But that's what people see
What if there is infinite darkness in me?
My beloved feel my soft skin from outside
But that's what he feels,
What if I am shattering into small pieces from inside?
He taste my sweet kiss,
But that's what he taste,
What if my lips has a poison inside?
I put on a sweet perfume everyday,
What if I smell of death from inside?
I try to heal people from depression,
But what if I am the one who needs healing?
Every day sun shines, but there is darkness
In my life that sun rays cannot shine upon.
Depression suck out life from me,
Now I feel nothing at all.
People pity me but that's not what I want,
I want life inside my living body
I want my soul to shine,
I want to takeaway my fake smiling mask,
I want a real Happy smile.
So I cling to life everyday,
Hoping for happiness someday,
Even though my existence feels like Abyss,
I always try to make paradise.
Mommy told me to be brave,
Daddy told me to never give up,
Brother told me keep trying,
And that's what I do.
Maybe someday I will find happiness,
Maybe my soul will shine brighter than the sun.
Maybe my dreams will come true,
Maybe I will be an inspiration.
That's the reason I never give up.
I am still here for my beloved,
I am still here for my family,
I am still here for my dreams,
But most of all,
I am still here for myself.