Unstable


I have been deemed unstable.
Two little words put together to make one stigma.
Why use such a destructive, mentally agonizing word?
The damage is irreversible.
Know what the worst part is?
Not how everyone stigmatizes you,
But how you view yourself after hearing it.
I have been deemed unstable.
Be it the result of adoption.
My mind begins to destroy itself.
I’ve been deemed unstable.
Fluctuating between being a mute hermit and an outgoing social butterfly.
I can’t seem to make up my mind how to act around others.
So curious about conversations and hating the effort or energy to put forward at the same time.
What a conundrum.
I have been deemed unstable.
Relapsing into emotions I didn’t want to feel.
The paranoia too much to bear at times so I choose solitude and silence.
I have been deemed unstable.
Every day I regress into myself to escape the silently loud judgment of others.
They must never know the real me, it isn’t safe.
I have been deemed unstable.
I cry at my deep pains in plain sight.
I remember painful situations and recreate them mentally to how I wish they could have turned out.
YOU have been deemed unstable.
Not for the silent war that roars inside of you.
But because of your dreams and their unrealistic endings.
We aren’t unstable. We are unique.
We aren’t unstable. We are growing.
We aren’t unstable, we are the diamonds in the ruff.
We aren’t unstable, we just choose different outlets.
Maybe I’m a creative force and IT is the one that is unstable.
I have deemed it unstable.
Two little words forced together to make one stigma.

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