Unstable Mother

Everything is such a blur, a driven question
How can i relase this frustration? Im struggling, im drowning
What am i supposed to do? i want to harm them, harm myself
Why cant i calm down? im angry, im suffering

I wonder how they feel? scared,?
do i terrify them? i scare myself, dammit
I know i love them. how do i express it? show them
i ask my self should i hit them

Ive hit em, but i almost couldnt stop hurting them
im battling with myself . should i leave or should they go?
Do i miss them? i pretend i do
I dont want to feel like this but i cant decide if i want them anymore

The noises in my head, the not wanting to get out of bed
hurtinng but cant harm, i want to shut them up just who do they think they are
the screaming JUST SHUT UP
Lose your cool just dont losse sight of not harming them

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