Until it wasn’t

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It was supposed to be the year I was happy again
I graduated early, I was moving on.
I don’t care about the ceremony,
Or the parties I missed.
I was excited for life again, for college, and life
“It should be over by summer”, until it wasn’t.

The people on tv, demanding to go to stores.
They got their way.
We opened up again, and the dead pile up.
200,000 plus, too many

So I sit in my bedroom.
At my desk, working on school.
With teachers I’ve never met
And peers I can’t talk to.
The anonymity of a screen, Isolating me.

My first year of college.
When I was going to regain control
Over my mental health, over my life.
Instead, I stare at the calendar.
Counting the days going by.
They all look the same.
I’ll be here, waiting for better days.

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