He loved being a con man,
he enjoyed putting on the act
He liked that he could be anybody,
someone you may have possibly met
He could be the professor,
or a rube with a a screw not intact
He could be the ventriloquist,
or be the dummy talking back
It was all vaudeville to him,
the old "woe" and "swell"
It was all "look what I got!
But pleaasse don't tell"
He had many mentors
who taught him the art of the con
But the one he respected the most,
she said: be the grifter, not the sucker, son
He despised suckers,
he never was gonna be licked
He knew every angle,
he was never gonna be tricked
So when it came time
to perform the last act,
he was always one step ahead
with his suitcase packed
He would point you north,
while he shuffled south
Enjoying the view as he took
the moustache off his mouth

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