Waking up in Hell


I can't believe all the shit I've seen,

All these twisted scenes and these foreign dreams,

But I wake up and I'm starin at this metal frame,

From this bunkbed, man, I'm locked up, am I going insane?

I jump out of my bed and run straight to the mirror,

But I can't see my face,

Cuz this metal mirror's no clearer than mud,

So I race back to bed and start weepin,

I'm back in jail, oh my god, why can't I stop tweekin.

What am I gonna tell my kids, oh no, my wife,

Slip me a knife, I can't go on,

I lost my job, my house, my car, my fam,

I ain't even suitable to be called a man.

Oh God, what in the hell did I do?

Oh God, last time in jail I made a deal with you.

I swore that if you'd just keep me with my kids and my wife,

Every night I'd shut my eyelids in prayer and thanks,

And never touch this shit again,

And I'd lose all my connections,

And I'd make new friends,

And get a real job, and show up every day,

But I hit up my dealer and started up right away.

I don't got no reason, I don't got no cause,

I don't know why this messed up world cracks down on all these laws,

But here I sit and stare out windows to the world,

And now I feel I might have lost my precious little girl.

I can't stay in this locked up place,

But I got so much time,

To sit and wish I felt your face,

And wonder if you're mine.

I see your shadow in my eyes,

Your impression with me lies,

I wanna feel your silken touch,

I messed up bad, I miss you soo much.

I know you must be so confused,

Inside you must be hurtin.

I think I know just how you feel,

Depression you are flirtin.

I don't know how or why I did the shit I came to do,

But all the lies and pain I caused are done, cuz I am through.

I'm through with me, I cannot be the messed up kid I came to be,

I have no love from family, but I do not ask for sympathy,

I just need for you to see that you're the only one for me,

I need your love to encompass me through all time and eternity,

I look through these windows and I see a way back to society.

I must change, I'll start today, to rehabilitate.

The only way.

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