Warp Speed Enlightenment
Chant this mantra! Receive the name of the holy one!
Read this book and enlightenment shall come.
Do your penance and salvation is done.
Recite prayers, trust that deity in the sky.
Cover your head and never tell a lie.
Submit to man, renounce all pleasures.
Close your eyes and meditate for hours.
Read your scriptures, which is the gate to the Divine.
Sacrifice those goats, cast the circle and bliss is thine!
Smile! Be happy! Everything is fine!
Quick and easy, quick and easy!
Spirituality comes with a money back guarantee!
Put your soul in the hands of another, for they hold the key.
Oh yes, my dear! Enlightenment is big business, all's given for free.
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