Watching me

They are watching me
This I truly know.
Making sure I live up to their expectations ..
Nothing short of a show.

I try to just disappear
I try this in plain site..
But I grow so weak and so tired
When all they want is to fight.

So frankly I let myself go,
sacrificing it all for privacy again.
But they seem to gain more interest the more I go off the deep end.

What is it that they want?
To watch me live, die or both?
Why can't I have just one moment where I am no longer exposed?

This is all too much
Becoming the shadow of others lives..
Even in my death never to turn their eyes.

So I hope not to fall apart as I get through every single day..
I know that they are watching so I must learn not to lead them astray.

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This is a poem about breaking down and falling apart from the pressure of always being under a microscope from someone or others