You're eating; rarely hungry.
Tired, unable to sleep.
Smiling, here and always,
With laughter not yours to keep.
Repeating the words as her mantra,
"Lovelier, lighter than before"
Tomorrow you'll shine brighter -
Amidst isolation -
Death knocks at your door.
Hiding behind disorder
Until bare bones are all that you see
A constant fit for survival
She'd become all that she could be.
Neither sustainable nor attainable
Her heart would eventually give out.
Fooled into thinking you're special
It's just your body shutting down
False strength in restriction
Wouldn't dare to get well
Dancing a waltz with the devil
Manifesting your own hell
"I wish I hadn't eaten"
And with that, and evermore
All she could be was nothing
And nothing was what he left her for.
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