What Am I Missing

I long for a love that I've never encountered
A wound never healing from our last encounter
What I wouldn't give for something that I've never had
An enigma I must admit but it's something I crave bad
Giving in to the consumption of confusion that I feel
Breathing in with the assumption of an illusion all too real

The wait to exhale brings agony in its longevity
But the time spent with progression produces a better me
I have a need to complete what is already completed
I'm made aware of the dilemma but too internally blind to see it
I have a mind of impatience with a heart of anticipation
That's why life tends to test me with a test of my patience

I inhale my inhibitions to breathe out a façade
To internalize such emotion may come off as odd
Emotion shown too freely is a sign of being weak
So I'm a chooser of the option of merely appearing bleak
A successful actress I portray
For the act of social comfort I convey

I know what I'm missing the very thing that hinders me
The thing that grips my heart and leaves my mind dazed lingering

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